Ripped and Torn

WOW! It has been a busy month. Since the last time I wrote I have successfully: ended summer vacation, started school, overbooked, exhausted myself, met new friends, had a blast reuniting with community here in Waco, and fallen more in love with Jesus. Let me give a quick overview of what God has done in my life in the past few weeks so you have an idea of why I am going to write about what I am going to write about!

This summer was extremely hard. Over the last few weeks I have really processed why it was so hard for me and it was because God literally rid me of myself. He took every plan I had made, every accomplishment I had done, and every desire that I had and stripped it from me. Throughout the summer, I threw fit after fit and had meltdown after meltdown all the while coming to the end of myself. It wasn’t fun, and it wasn’t easy, but I can now say it was worth it.

Two stories in scripture have really stuck out to me over the course of the summer. One of those being the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42. Jesus came to their house to eat with them: Martha busied herself with getting ready for the meal and cleaning her house and got upset when Mary simply sat at the feet of Jesus listening to all he had to say to her. Jesus gently tells Martha that Mary had chosen the better thing and it wouldn’t be taken away from her.  This story has been such an anchor for me in this season I have been walking in. Why? You might ask. Because–I am a worker, a planner, a do-er. I get uncomfortable when I have an empty schedule or when I actually have time to rest. As my life was seemingly falling apart at the seams this summer, it really was coming together

My prayer over the last two weeks hasn’t been me praying for something I need or want physically, but for a change in my heart…I want a heart like Mary’s. A heart that, in humility, says “It’s all about, You, Jesus.” A heart that is more concerned with who Jesus is rather than what He can do for me…or what I think I can do for him. The idea that Jesus just wants to be with me with no strings attached has blown my mind.  My life comes together at the feet of Jesus. He is my king and because He loves me simply and outrageously, I will follow Him for the rest of my life.

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