It is well.

“God never promised us a rose garden.” 

Those are the wise words of my 91 year old, Jesus loving, grandmother.
It’s true.
Following Jesus isn’t easy.
From the beginning of time it hasn’t been easy.

I am learning the deep truth of those words from my grandmother.
God never promised me a rose garden.
BUT, (yes, there is a but) I am promised a whole lot of things:

1. God will never leave or forsake me.
2. God’s thoughts are not my thoughts, and his ways are not my ways.
3. He leads me beside still waters.
4. He has magnificant plans for my life.

Those few promises are what make this life worth living…those and the fact that I am loved extravagantly by the king of the UNIVERSE.

You see, I’ve been following God my whole life. I grew up in church and knew all the “Christian” answers. It wasn’t until college, after I had literally been to hell and back throughout high school, that I realized what it really looked like to follow Jesus. The last three years I’ve been learning what it looks like to have a relationship with God. There have been some really rough times, and some really good times. There have been times where I just didn’t want to follow Jesus ever again, and over the last two years…I have come to the incredibly solid realization that I cannot imagine myself NOT following Jesus for the rest of my life. The last year of my life has been one marked with learning how to trust God and consistently say “yes,” over and over again. My last blog post talked about sowing and reaping. I’m learning how to reap. This last week, however, reaping has looked differently. This last week has been one of struggling just to keep my head above water and make it through. Today. Today has been extremely difficult. I’m learning that reaping what I have sown can hurt.

{{For example: Roses are attached to this vine..but if you want to make a pretty flower arrangement, you have to pull the rose off…you have the pretty result..but the thorns on the stem can make it painful to get that rose.}}

That’s how its been for me the last three days. In saying ‘yes’ to God in the big things, I had just assumed that saying yes would, in turn, work out in my favor. But I have had door after door shut in my face over the last 3 months: some, I prayed to be shut, others I prayed to be flung wide. I’ve had one door in particular shut in my face today and it took me by surprise. Low blow to the gut. It literally took my breath away and I couldn’t help but scream out to God in anger…”GOD WHY?!”

Vulnerability moment: I was mad, hurt, angry, sad, confused. I still am to a point. But in the process of driving home, eyes filled with tears I realized: I have been believing the lie that God always gives me the short end of the stick; That in order to follow God, I always have to choose the hardest way possible. So as I was crying, Jesus so graciously and kindly spent time with me and tended to my weary, broken spirit.
In that moment I realized something:

JESUS DOESN’T HAVE SHORT STICKS.
He’s not capable of having short sticks.
He has perfect sticks, made of gold..glistening on every side.

I have said yes to Jesus, not for what he gives me, but because of the cross he carried for me.
I have said yes to Jesus, not for the ease or convenience, but because he’s been faithful time and time again.
I have said yes to Jesus, and no matter what…there is no turning back.
He has always been good.
He will always be good.
And even so, today, he is still SO INCREDIBLY good.

It is well.
Today and every day.

 

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4 thoughts on “It is well.

  1. Hi, really good post. I had a similar experience too (blogged it a while back) when everything was hitting the fan. Like you Jesus came to me showed how to yield with grace.

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