Overwhelmed.

The kindness of God gets me every time.
I wander, He draws me back.
I carry too much, He lifts it off.
I play it safe, He calls me to risk.
I believe lies about His character, He remains the same.

The way God loves me is not dependent on anything I do. Because if it were, I wouldn’t be loved at all.
In the season of life that I’m in, I have never been more thankful for the love of God. He really really loves me. He gets giddy about me. He rejoices over me. He fights for me and stands by me. You see, I’ve never had to be so dependent on the love of God. I’ve never had to be in a place that the only thing that could possibly hold me together was being loved by Jesus.
The last couple of months I’ve been on this roller coaster. I’ve successfully transitioned into the real world and am in the most intense season of walking with God I’ve ever been in. My schedule is filled to the brim and I am having to learn to get refreshed and remember to breathe. But that’s where the love of God comes in:

it’s so sweet.
it’s so tangible.
it’s so safe.
it’s so strong.
it’s so c o n s i s t e n t. 

I’m learning that when my life is hectic, full, busy, sad, joyful, stressful, and everything in-between, I have a God who loves me and a king who moves mountains for me.
It’s a simple truth, but I’ve come to the realization that I forget, too often, that before I am fought for, or forgiven, or redeemed, or transformed, I AM LOVED. Outrageously loved. 

My world is one full of running from meeting to meeting, doing homework, working with kids with learning disabilities who sometimes don’t have a clue why they behave the way they do, being coughed on, cleaning up germ infested toys, entering into a broken home to do speech therapy, doing community, going on dates with my STUDLY boyfriend, and laughing AND crying all along the way.

A l o n g t h e w a y.

Jesus loves me along the way. Not when I’m done with the process, not when I’m perfect and have my life together, along the way. I learned this when I was spending time with God on a life group retreat, while hanging in my sunshine yellow hammock. I asked God what he had to say about me and in an instant God began romancing my heart. He called out the deepest parts of my heart, just to show me that he knows me. He knows I really like wearing hats and that I really like wildflowers. He knows that my constant migraines leave me feeling insecure and weak. He also knows that there’s nothing I love more than feeling safe and secure. He just stinkin’ loves me.

 

The other day the last overwhelming reality that I am extravagantly loved by Jesus came as I was sitting in a therapy session with one of my autistic kids. This boy is significantly behind, socially and usually, in order to have a legitimate conversation with him, we have to talk behind the personas of action figures.  But when I asked what he liked to do at school, his response blew me away: “Me and my friend like to play the life of Jesus game.” I asked, “What is that game?” He proceeds to share the gospel with me and in the most simple way, God showed me that I was loved. I got to sit, in a therapy room, with an autistic boy, and rest in the delight of the Father.

Oh goodness. If you’re still reading this–I hope you know that the love of Jesus rests on you too. He loves you deeply. He pursues you! He stinkin’ obsesses over you!!!!
So be loved.
He died to love you.

“Jesus loves being loved by you, and He loves loving you.” –Mike Bickle

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