The World is Heavy, so what!

I walk through seasons of life where it feels like I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. If you haven’t ever felt that way, let me explain the feeling–the world is ridiculously heavy, it is constantly spinning and moving, AND I, as a human, was not created to carry something as massive as the world, therefore my arms and legs feel like they are going to give in, I move much slower and with much more complaining, and it is incredibly hard to walk with confidence and refreshment…after all, I am carrying a huge sphere on my back. However, I am learning that just because the world is heavy doesn’t mean that 1. I have to carry it and 2. That I have to live beneath the weight of it. In fact, I am learning just the opposite. I don’t have to begin to attempt to carry the world–it isn’t what I was made for. I was made to walk with the One who conquered the world, to walk with a light load, and follow in the direction of where Jesus is leading me. <—That fact: LIFE CHANGING. MIND CHANGING. WEIGHT CHANGING.

I am in this place of life where, looking at my circumstances, should be completely overwhelming. In graduating college and moving on and I am having to make some decisions that will ultimately change the trajectory of my life. But what is weird is I am not overwhelmed. Yesterday, I took a few steps back from my life and started looking at it from an arms length away…I have so many decisions to make and so many things to take care of in the next six months and no matter how much I think about it, I cannot find myself being worried or overwhelmed in the least. Which is surprising. But I think the result of being able to peacefully think through my life comes from the lessons I’ve been learning the last few months {refer to my last couple of blog posts}. In following Jesus there is a strange combination of risk and security. Risk in the sense of sometimes we literally have to throw ourselves head first into the unknown and trust God to have it all figured out. Security in the sense that we can jump head first, feet first, belly first into whatever and wherever God is leading and be completely safe. I think the combination of risk and security is what allows my heart to rest in this place. Even if I had everything figured out, even if everything was given to me, I am still human and am still prone to find something else to worry about…therefore, why not let God take care of what is directly in front of me and go from there.

In analyzing my life, I was reminded how relieving it is to let Jesus take my yoke. Matthew 11: 28-30 says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” I really like the Message version of these few verses, so you get to read this passage twice:) “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me–watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” In walking with God through this process of allowing him to carry the weight of the world, I have learned that when I allow Jesus to take my yoke and give me his, that it doesn’t just make my load lighter and easier…it breeds intimacy.

The closer I am to Jesus, the more rewarding my life becomes. You may ask: Caitlin, what happens when really hard decisions come? What happens when things don’t go your way? What happens if you don’t know what to do in 6 months? I will answer: I want to try my best to follow Jesus and choose the way of God in all circumstances and all situations. Will I struggle? Yes, quite certainly. I am only human. But do I want to try my best to live a life that brings all fame, glory, and adoration to Jesus? Of course. If I only have Jesus for the rest of my life, I am learning that that would be more than enough. Because after all, everything we do really is about Jesus–even belly flopping into the unknown future of life. Jesus is worth it. 

“The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to you and you give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.” —Psalm 145:13b-16